Michelle Obama opens up about the ‘messy and complicated’ parts of life with Barack and their daughters

Michelle Obama may look like she has all parts of life under control but the former first lady has had her fair share of doubts – particularly when it comes to parenting.

Michelle, 61, spoke to Parents at the outlet’s inaugural Next Gen Awards, where she opened up about raising her daughters along husband Barack Obama and how it taught her to be vulnerable.

It makes you think everyone is doing better than you. And that’s just not reflective of reality,’ Michelle told the publication.  The mom-of-two continued: ‘It’s so easy for us to curl up into this protective instinct and not talk about the messy or more complicated bits of our lives.

‘It can feel dangerous to expose those imperfect parts of ourselves. But over the years, I have learned that it’s really the opposite.’  Michelle pointed out every parent has their own style when raising children and it is vital to remember not to compare yourself to those around you.

‘Just like our kids, we’re going to have times where we succeed and times when we fail. That’s a part of the journey. We have to recognize that, and give ourselves — and each other — a little grace along the way.’  Michelle stressed the importance of learning the stories of those around you.

‘It makes living life, as well as raising kids, so much easier. As parents, we’re all going through similar things,’ she shared.  ‘Some of us have questions that others have the answers to. But we’re not going to get those answers without having the courage to put ourselves out there.’

The dedicated mom often speaks about raising her two daughters, Malia, 26, and Sasha, 24, with former president Barack.  Michelle also spoke about raising her daughters in the White House and the small tweaks the couple made to make life as normal as possible.

‘When we were at the White House, we made sure they were doing things like making their beds every morning and as they got older, getting summer jobs,’ she shared to Parents.

While their lives were slightly out of the public eye after Barack left office, their time as the first daughters ‘forced’ them to learn critical skills like discipline, flexibility, and determination.

‘And now here we are. My girls are both in their 20s. And while they know that even now, they are under more scrutiny than others their age, they’ve learned to roll with the punches,’ she gushed.

‘I’m always so impressed by how they handle it — with grace, resolve, and charm. These days, more than anything, I can’t wait to see how they surprise us next.’

Michelle – whose marriage to Barack has been plagued with rift rumors in recent months – previously opened up about a tough parenting talk the couple had after they moved into the White House.

During a recent episode of her IMO podcast, which she hosts with older brother Craig Robinson, the duo were talking to guest Julia Louis-Dreyfus where she recalled the conversation.

She explained that she told her husband he had to get their daughters’ school used to the President of the United States being at events – and that she wanted him to still be as engaged with this daughters’ lives as he was before he took office.

‘It was like, “no, you got to go to parent-teacher conference” – and he wanted to go,’ Michelle told Julia and Craig.  She stated that even if he was not necessarily required to go, she still expected him there.

‘You have to get the school normalized to you being the type of engaged parent that you were before election night,’ she recalled telling Barack.  ‘And you were the father that went to parent teacher conference, you were the father that would coach your girls’ basketball game league,’ she recounted.

Michelle explained that although her first instinct was to not make new friends while living in the White House – in case they weren’t trustworthy, gossiped about them, or sold stories to the media – she knew the couple had to unite as parents and make life as ‘normal’ as possible for their family.

‘I still had little kids. My girls were 10 and seven, moving into a new neighborhood, a new community,’ Michelle explained.  The mother-of-two continued, saying her goal was to ‘normalize’ the White House experience for daughters Malia and Sasha, which meant spending time in the community.

‘[I did] not make them feel like these odd little kids with Secret Service that were outsiders, which meant that I couldn’t – I didn’t – have the luxury of saying no new friends, right?’ she reflected.

The devoted mom went on to say that when raising children, it is vital to be part of the bigger community that they are in.  ‘Otherwise you’re screwed,’ she quipped. ‘So that push [to make friends in the community] was necessary.’