Paris Olympics opening ceremony brutally mocked as a ‘disaster’

Olympics opening ceremony along famous French river is panned by viewers describing it ‘the worst’ as rain hampers the audio and urge ‘Stop the boats’

The Olympics opening ceremony has been panned by viewers describing it as ‘the worst’ as rain hampers the audio and urge organisers to ‘Stop the boats’.  6,800 athletes covered in plastic ponchos attempted to keep spirits high as they travelled down the river Seine in a huge flotilla of 85 boats.

Performances from Lady Gaga and approximately 3,000 dancers, acrobats and actors are hard to hear over the sound of rain, with viewers calling it ‘boring’ and ‘the worst Olympic opening ceremony in memory’.  One social media user said: ‘France is doing good but it’s getting nowhere near the 2012 London Olympics opening ceremony.’

The first boats of athletes making their way down the River Seine for the opening ceremony

Torrential rain in Paris has marred the opening ceremony with many spectators seen wearing ponchos and holding umbrellas

Another used a picture of Rishi Sunak on a podium that reads: ‘Stop the boats’ to describe how they felt about the water-bound parade.  For the first time in history, the opening ceremony is being held outside of a closed stadium, instead Paris are hosting a never before seen water parade for the Olympics.  The open-air spectacle is taking place along a 6km stretch of the Seine River and includes a total of 160 boats, carrying 94 athletes each along the iconic river.

But fans on social media are unimpressed by France’s attempt to switch up the ceremony, with one writing: ‘I’m sorry but this is the worst Olympic opening ceremony in memory.  ‘It’s an interesting idea bringing the athletes in on boats but it looks rubbish and misses the roar of the crowd. Sorry but not for me.’  Some had critiques for the boats themselves, writing: ‘All the boats should have been the same and more fancy looking.’

Another said: ‘This opening ceremony would really benefit from Graham Norton’s commentary questioning what the hell is going on. Anyone else finding this just bizarre and hard to follow?’.  Gaming fans have drawn comparisons between the masked torch barer seen running around the city on rooftops and Arno, a character from the video game Assassin’s Creed.

The official Assassin’s Creed X account even posted a video of Arno jumping around in the game with the caption: ‘Keep an eye on Paris’ rooftops – Arno might just be watching from above.’  A performance by a man painted blue and covered in flowers and fruit, depicting the Greek god Dionysus, singing in French left viewers bewildered, comparing him to a smurf, an avatar and Iggle Piggle from children’s TV show In The Night Garden.  One X user wrote: ‘Can this get any worse! Avatar meets smurf remake’.

Another viewer joked: ‘Hilarious irony that the French are relying so heavily on their contribution to different musical genres and yet all the microphones are picking up is the rain’, after performances of the can-can, a selection of songs from Les Mis, the opera Carmen and a show from French heavy metal band Gojira were drowned out.  Meteorologists who predicted the unusual rainy July weather would be a ‘disaster’ for the outdoor ceremony appear to have been correct as the screen at the Trocadéro where thousands of spectators are gathered appeared to suffer a blackout as a result of the dreary weather.

Instead of crowds wearing shorts and t-shirts to soak up the Parisian sun, streets were lined with umbrellas and spectators – including celebrities – turning to ponchos to protect from the rain.  A viewer on social media joked: ‘If this rain keeps up by the time they get to Zimbabwe they’ll be able to sail the boat down the street!’.  ‘Well this fancy outside idea went well didn’t it’, wrote another sarcastically.