Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce and when engagement rumors just won’t quit

In this era of political pandemonium, of suffocating social inequality, of confounding capitalistic institutions, one question unites us all.

Are Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce engaged yet?!

No, at least not publicly. But that hasn’t stopped the rumor mill from forever churning. Fans are dissecting every little thing they can get their hands on – a quote here, a boat ride there – to fulfill their parasocial connection to the “it” couple of the year (decade? century?)

Still, it can be trying when those around you won’t stop speculating about your relationship status. This difficulty is magnified for celebrities, who see their relationship ups-and-downs become the subject of international news headlines and social media trends. It’s typically worse when a couple is seemingly going through rocky times; just look at Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. But with Swift and Kelce, some are taking it a little too far.

“I really think that so many swiftness CLING to Travis because they see him as Taylor’s “last chance” to have a husband and babies,” one X user wrote. “We see it all the time because they always bring up her age whenever they justify engagement speculation.” Another added: “I’m not debating whether she wants marriage/kids or not but it’s still weird for people to be so obsessed with the when and constantly read into everything taylor, travis and their family do as easter egg for their engagement.”  Parasocial relationships can be innocent. But when they go too far, “stan culture” can lead to everything from “addictive tendencies” to “stalking behavior,” according to research – and experts say such volatility should be reevaluated.

Social media ‘a small slice’ of who celebrities are

The age of social media has made it nearly impossible for anyone who regularly uses these platforms to keep their relationship status hidden for long. An Instagram story here, a cryptic grid post there. Those in the public eye, of course, carefully curate exactly what they want their followers to know. Still, even Swift is human.

“It’s important to not hold celebrities to impossible standards because these are fallible humans with inevitable flaws and shortcomings, just like the rest of us,” Shana Redmond, a professor of English and comparative literature at Columbia University, previously told USA TODAY. “What we see on social media is a small slice of who they are – we can’t substitute that glamour for the whole.”

But the viral nature of social media means platforms can become powder kegs for radicalization. Especially when it comes to celebrity couples and engagement and misguided, misogynistic pregnancy rumors.  “‘Stan culture’ has a different intensity when a celebrity can be virtually accessed any time of day, any day of the year,” Redmond says.  Yes, and:Ariana Grande and when everyone can’t stop talking about your relationship status

Is there a psychological component?

Yes – though it’s specific to the idea of “celebrity worship.”  Research by Dr. Randy A. Sansone Dr. Lori A. Sansone, published in 2014 in “Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience,” found that so-called “celebrity worshippers” might “harbor concerns about body image (particularly young adolescents), be more prone to cosmetic surgery” and could display “narcissistic features, dissociation, addictive tendencies, stalking behavior, and compulsive buying.” Studies revealed that those with intense celebrity worship levels were more likely to struggle with their mental health.

The saturation of celebrity culture in media provides some explanation for public interest. Some level of celebrity worship, then, is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean it will always reach the “stan” level.

The negatives of ‘stan’ culture

David Schmid, associate professor of English at the University at Buffalo, previously told USA TODAY some celebrities don’t get involved more directly with their fans in an effort to not bite the hand that feeds them.  We’ve always demanded a lot from celebrities – for them to be absolutely unlike us but also relatable. “A celebrity cannot possibly satisfy both of those requirements at the same time,” Schmid says. Swift cannot possibly appease everyone at all times amid a years-long “Eras” tour.

Still, celebrities could do more to rein their fans in. For example, anyone who talks negatively about Swift can expect to get skewered by her Swifties. But more often than not it’s the Swifties themselves causing the chaos.  “We talk a lot about the power that the stans have. But we’re not talking enough about the power that the celebrities have over those stans,” Schmid says. “And I think that needs to be more front-and-center going forward.” For all of Swift’s alleged authenticity, we don’t know that much about her and Kelce directly.

Schmid thinks stan culture need not be demonized, but used as a force for good. Think about how many people Ariana Grande and Swift have inspired politically, for example.

Plus, it’s ludicrous to imagine stans will ever not stan.  “A big part of the pleasure is the purity of the obsession, and the purity of the extremity,” Schmid says.  So, sure, look for that engagement ring. But don’t project your own wishes and wants – “paper rings,” if you will – onto someone else.